Monday Update: The Home Stretch

Gentlemen,

We are getting closer and closer to the end of the regular season... and we're getting a little more clarity with the playoff picture, but nothing is official thus far.

Kudos to you all, especially those of you truly fighting for your 2012 FF lives, because with 2 weeks left, nobody is officially dead...although Ned is truly on life support.

Let's breeze through the usual filler and get to the important stuff about where everyone stands with 2 weeks + tonight left.

The Vikings
BYE WEEK

Our next 3 games are Bears-Packers-Bears. We'll know a lot more about our currently 6-3 squad after that. Vegas odds have us sitting on .500 at that point.

The Gophers
I watched zero seconds of this game, so let's just cut to The White One.

Cracker's College Football Corner
1. I didn't see a second of the MN-Nebraska game and just glossed over the box score. I know you were there... Was there anything positive to take away? What was the biggest disappointment, among the many?

It was ugly.  At 8/23 with two interceptions it was by far the worst game Philip Nelson has played.  About the only positive thing from his performance was the both picks hit his WRs hands first and then were deflected in to the hands of the DBs rather than a direct bad throw to the DB.  The combination of his poor performance and the poor performance of the defense, in particular the secondary, was the biggest disappointment.  Taylor Martinez should not be throwing for 300 yards against any defense.

2. Scouting report on Sparty - If we have any chance to win, how would/could it happen?

The Spartans have an elite defense (#10 scoring defense in the country) with a horrible offense (#110 in scoring offense) which keeps them in every game but also keeps their opponent in every game.  If we are fortunate enough to force some turnovers and get the ball in good field position we could pull it out.

3. I'm gonna link to AJ Barker's letter to Coach Kill... What the hell happened here? What does this mean for the Coach Kill/Football Team/Athletic Program going forward?

People can read it and form their own opinions. It is hard to know exactly what happened when you only read one side of the story and it clearly sounds like an adolescent that is acting out and struggling to control his emotions.

I think the general response from women would be sensitivity toward the young man that is injured while the general response from men, in particular those that have played football, is 'quit being such a pussy.'  I don't think any guy is going to be shocked that a coach yelled at a player to try to throw dirt on the injury and get back out there to play football or that he tried to tear a player down and build him back up.

As for the impact on the program, I think it is just some unnecessary drama and unless something like accusations about Mike Leach come about nothing will really change.

4. Ugh... feel free to comment on the potential National Championship possibilities: Notre Dame-SEC Team or SEC Team-SEC Team.

I'm pissed because I was really looking forward to no SEC team in the BCSCG.  All Notre Dame has to do to be in the BCSCG now is to beat a mediocre USC team at USC.  Notre Dame is definitely the better team in my opinion but USC has the offensive fire power--particularly at QB/WR---to put up points on a Notre Dame defense that is better against the run than the pass.  I remain hopeful that the Trojans can pull the upset but then we're left in a possible be careful what you wish for scenario. 

Bama/Georgia play again so one team will be eliminated from contention.  Florida still has to play FSU.  I personally think FSU wins that game.  If UF wins then we're at risk of another SEC/SEC game but after the ugliness that took place last year I think there will be a lot of voter support to put Oregon in that game rather than Florida but only time will tell.

Let's see what Lou Holtz thinks about Notre Dame being #1...

Team Names
If we were in Chapter Meeting, I'd be hissing JoJo right now for not changing his team name. HISSSSSSSSSS

***VOTE IN SIDEBAR***

BEST: this was a hard week for me because none of these things particularly annoy me. If I was applying for a bunch of jobs like Dallus, Cover Letters would probably win, but that's boring.

I guess I'll go with Unnecessary Meetings... I mean, who enjoys unnecessary meetings? In fact, Whitey could have just named his team Meetings, and it probably still would have got my vote.

WORST: I had a very difficult decision on this, until Kenny shows up late and goes with Updating Team Names... And suddenly, my vote became crystal clear.

As someone who writes a weekly blog that averages between 2,000 and 3,000 words, not to mention...

• Coordinating/managing the whole goddamn league
• Balancing 10 busy people's calendars to schedule the draft
• Recording all weekly scores for bonus payouts and statistical info for other blog posts
• Weekly Gameday Threads allowing everyone to chat during game viewings (where was everyone yesterday??)
• Generally, doing everything I can to keep each and every league member engaged and interested in the league no matter if they are in 1st or Last Place

...it annoys me to hear someone say it's their pet peeve to update their team name time per week because they can't access it from a mobile device. Three things:

1. Given everything I just wrote, eat my ass.
2. You work sitting at a computer for 50 hours a week. It takes less than a minute to change your team name. See Point #1.
3. You absolutely CAN update your team name using a mobile device - I just did. Per the transitive property, you are full of shit.

/rant over

Team Name Topic

This week's topic was inspired by a facebook post from our olf MNF pal, and very proud ND Irish, Christoff.

What "corporate-speak" phrase would you like to permanently eliminate from the English language? I could list off dozens here, but I don't want to steal anyone's thunder. 

Most everyone on this has worked in some sort of setting that either was corporate, or reflected corporate culture. Yes, we all know some of you work for the government (and that's why you voted Democrat), but I'm sure they still use bullshit phrases and terms in your offices too. Which ones just piss you off to no end?

There should be no shortage of options this week. And since it is a short week, let's all try to have these updated before Thanksgiving... deal? 

The Games

Very abbreviated updates today. Forgive me if this is your pet peeve.

Jerks (78) vs. Coconuts (148)

• Juan destroyed me by 70. The only starting player on his team to not score a TD was Seabass. If not for my massacre of Gow earlier in the year, Juan would easily have the inside track to biggest blowout.
• Five picks for my supposedly-MVP candidate QB. Figure it the fuck out, Matty Ice.
• Juan still trails me by a game in 2nd place, but has taken over the Total Points tiebreaker. My butthole just puckered up a little...
• Gronk...

Crapswell (60) vs. K Hana (47)

• What a trainwreck. These 2 teams combined still trail Coconuts by 40 points. 
• Crapswell leads by 13 with Forte, V Davis, and SF D going tonight. Kenny has Chicago D is will probably lose an important game between two 5-5 teams.

JoJo (100) vs. Crabs (78)

• Very good day for JoJo despite keeping Andre Johnson's 33+ points on his bench.
• JoJo still has Gore going while Crabs is done, so these teams will be tied at 6-5 after tonight.

Whitebread (66) vs. Titwarmer (74)

• What has happened to Whitey's team...? Manning was his only starter to score a TD yesterday. And starting him over RG3 cost him 12 points.
• I just want to point out that Ned is going to win this week and the biggest reason why was because he spent all of $1 on Marcel Reece 2 weeks ago, and he net almost 200 total yards yesterday. This is why everyone should always keep fighting...because you never know.
• Ned will win and for now, meaning until tonight is over, keep is very slim dream alive of making the playoffs.
• Whitey now joins Ned on life support.

Gow (82) vs. Dallus (68)

• Danario Alexander got 2 TD's yesterday, one which shouldn't have counted, and that is about the only positive news about Gow's team.
• Dallus fared even worse yesterday, but still has a chance with Marshall going tonight. Very important playoff match, as you will see below...

Projected Standings

The only match in doubt is Gow-Dallus, and for these projections, I'm assuming Gow hangs on tonight.

As always, point totals include yesterday's games.

	Team	Record	Points
1st	Jerks	8-3	1143
2nd	Coconuts	7-4	1154
3rd	JoJo	6-5	1078
4th	Crabs	6-5	1027
5th	Crapswell	6-5	1008
6th	Gow	6-5	995
7th	K Hana	5-6	998
8th	Dallus	4-7	1032
9th	Whitebread	4-7	949
10th	Titwarmer	3-8	968

So... 4 teams at 6-5. If these are the standings tomorrow, it means there is a clear group of teams with an inside track to the playoffs, and 3 other teams with a very difficult final 2 weeks. 

Yes, I said 3 teams. Because if these are your standings tomorrow, Ned would be officially eliminated. With 6 teams at 6+ wins, he would not mathematically be able to make the playoffs with 2 weeks to go. 

So if you prefer the drama... you are rooting for Brandon Marshall and Dallus tonight. If Marshall scores 14+ points, Dallus/Gow/Kenny would all be at 5-6... and Ned would still have life.

If you've read most of the Monday Updates going back to when I started writing them, you know where my rooting interest lies: I love the chaos. Go Marshall. Go Dallus. Go crazy, folks. Go crazy.

Next Week

Here's a preview at the all important slate of games for Week 12:

• Jerks vs. JoJo
• Crapswell vs. Coconuts
• Whitebread vs. Crabs
• Gow vs. Ned
• Dallus vs. Kenny

I just realized that even if Dallus wins tonight, either he or Kenny will get to 6 wins next week. Which means.... sorry Ned.

Tonight

Springsteen concert last Monday. Short week with a lot of shit to get done at home before Thanksgiving.

Sorry... wish I could be there, but it's a no go for me. Hopefully next week.

SF-CHI. Two teams that play crazy good defense and run the ball... and now BOTH backup Qb's will be starting. Oh goodie... I'm predicting a record shortest 1st Quarter tonight. Drink fast, boys. This game has potential to be shittier than the PIT-BAL circle jerk last night.

And enjoy the short week and the holiday, everyone. Whatever your plans may be, travel safe and eat heartily.