Monday Update: Oh Eff You, Monday

REMINDER: TRADE DEADLINE IS THIS FRIDAY

Gentlemen,

Not doing much much funny stuff today. I'm in a mood.

This weather sucks. It took me over an hour to get to work.

My team has now lost 3 in a row, this time at the mercy of Aaron Rodgers, which makes it even more annoying. I hate Green Bay so much... did you see Costas' halftime homage to them? It made me physically ill... Literally, I'm sick today.

Andy also put me in a sour mood last night, sending me texts whining (after Rodgers had 4 TD's) that Cobb hadn't caught one yet to give him any hope of winning. Please note that he was winning when he sent this.

I'll spare you the whole conversation as I'm sure Andy will recap people tonight to try and make me look bad (as I did not respond pleasantly to him), but seriously dude... Sending whiny texts when you're actually winning and your QB is on fire is out-Dallusing Dallus.

This is actually a problem for the league as a whole, in my opinion. Too many people expect to lose and thus don't even know how to win. It's like they don't enjoy it or don't want to accept it... and that's really annoying for the opponent that actually does take a loss.

That should have been fun for Andy to watch Rodgers easily throw bomb after bomb for TD's, bringing him all the way back and then some. Instead, he somehow assumes that it's going to go south for him, and comes whining to me, when I'm just trying to cling to some hope that Cutler doesn't throw another intercep- JESUS CHRIST A PICK SIX NOW??

As someone who has had some of the shittiest defeats in our league - Kenni knocked my team out in a playoff semi-final on a NE sack-fumble (against Matt Flynn) last play of the game when he was down 2.5 - I understand angst. I understand thinking something bad is going to happen to you because it always seems to. Being a MN sports fan doesn't help either.

Kenni is my kryptonite - always has been.

But if you can't enjoy a victory, or even an amazing performance from someone on your team, then why play at all? What are you gaining by playing this game?

Let me draw a parallel to the Gopher-Iowa game on Saturday. How many TD's did we have to be up by to ultimately enjoy that victory? Probably a lot more than we should ever have to. We're so worried that something bad is going to happen that we can't enjoy whooping some Hawkeye ass up and down the field. Seriously, after their first drive, we beat the snot out of them. It was glorious.

It's time people started acting like grown-ups. Act like you've been there before, expect to win, and be pissed off when you lose. That's the natural course of things. The non-stop defeatist attitudes are getting old and make the league less fun. I'd be so much happier if people talked genuine shit to one another, rather than the "Oh well I don't know... you have a really good RB going tonight that can always put up 30" bullshit.

Fuck that. Give me the "Your team fucking sucks and I can't wait to blow it in your face and make you eat that shit" taunts any day. Have some confidence, bring some swagger, and stop worrying about fucking jinxing anything. There is no higher power that gives a shit about your fantasy team. You are literally the only one that does.

Bill, I can't wait to curb stomp your team this week. And Andy... please go fuck yourself.

Happy Monday.

Let's Talk About Something Positive

Congrats to Marcus and the Mrs. on their new Baby Whitebread.

In the context of my rant, things like this are much more important and after quite a long labor, I was very happy to hear Mom and Baby were doing well.

But this is not exactly keeping things in perspective, Cracker...

Team Names

You can tell the season is 10 weeks old because people seem to not care as much about the names. They weren't necessarily bad, but none really jumped out at you.

I'd like to know more about the Erv's Fists of Fury, whatever is behind that story.

Here's what I propose going forward... BOTT Possessive Nouns is the topic the rest of the year. You can continue to edit and come up with new ones, or if you're really proud of LilHov's Clown Smile, you can just keep it for the rest of the season.

This way, we won't have some people with dumb song titles, some with bad food, and other's talking about Crabs' Pony Shirt. It will at least look consistent and you can put as much/little effort into it as you'd prefer.

REMINDER: TRADE DEADLINE IS THIS FRIDAY

The Games

Andy (145.26) beats me (128.26) in a match that just made me sad. He moves to 5-5, which is where I am after losing 3 straight.

Whitebread (128.62) gets the new-kid boost by destroying Juan (81.68). Not a good year for Juan. Cracker's playoff hopes remain barely breathing.

Ned (129.94) leads Gow (88.04) who has McCoy tonight. Ned has a 98% chance of winning, and barring some Beast Mode-esque performance will hand Gow just his second loss.

Bill (118.38) leads Kenni (106.92). Bill still has Cam/Maclin, while Kenni is relaying on Sanchez. Bill is a 94% favorite to hand Kenni just his third loss.

Crabs (105.00) leads Dallus (77.00) in the closest match tonight. Crabs still has Ertz, while Dallus has Benjamin, Olsen, and Parkey. Yahoo gives Crabs a 72% edge.

Tomorrow's Standings Today
Should Yahoo's estimates hold, here will be the standings tomorrow...

Place	Team	Record
1st	Gow	8-2
2nd	Kenni	7-3
3rd	Dallus	6-4
4th	Fredricks	5-5
5th	Jerks	5-5
6th	Crapswell	5-5
7th	Titwarmer	4-6
8th	Crabs	4-6
9th	Whitebread	3-7
10th	Coconuts	3-7

Losses by the top 3 teams will compress everything a little. We have 3 weeks left, and only 2 games separate 3rd-8th place. 

The time is now, boys.

REMINDER: TRADE DEADLINE IS THIS FRIDAY

Tonight

I don't know if I'm coming or not... Depends some on the weather and how I feel. At the moment, I feel pretty crappy. A sick kid and wife have now made me sick as well.

And I'd like to get some sleep before the little bundle of joy shows up to take away all of my sanity. Our due date is this Thursday, if you cared.

But still... many of you will brave the weather to see each other and need to figure out where you're going. So discuss amongst yourselves.

Enjoy the game, boys.