I'm at a 3-day offsite Monday-Wednesday with my boss, my boss' boss, and my boss' boss' boss. Not to mention a slew of other important people within the bullseye.
I'm writing this on Sunday night, where I usually get started, but I won't have a chance to do any work tomorrow. And I really need to be on my game tomorrow, thus this is sadly going to be a very abbreviated Monday Update. There won't be many/any pictures & videos as that stuff often takes the most time.
If you'd like to lengthen it, feel free to utilize the comments.
The Vikings
We got smoked. Ponder is seriously regressing. WTF.
I can't believe I was generating playoff discussions last week. Now, I'm not sure we even end the year over .500.
The Gophers
Woohoo! That was about as good as we have looked since... I'm really not sure. I'll leave the commentary to Cracker, but I watched most of this game and was really impressed. Not just with Nelson, but with the whole team. What a performance!
Cracker's College Football Corner
You'll have to answer these in the comments, Whitey...
1. Ok, how good is Purdue? Because they did not look that good. And I know we're not that good.
2. Nelson's the story here, as he should be. But what else about the Gophers impressed you?
3. Ok, Illinois is the game everyone is saying we should win to be bowl-eligible. Is there another game (or games) that we'll have a chance to surprise people?
4. Wisconsin lost at home. This isn't really a question, but I wanted to make sure it didn't go unnoticed. Feel free to dance a jig.
Team Names
Vote for the Best & Worst names in the sidebar.
My votes:
Best - Dallus had a good story, but try updating your team name before the games start on Sunday. Pretend you're trying in this league, please. My vote goes to Heineman's sell out. I know it probably won't win, but it just makes me laugh... it's the most Heineman story ever.
Worst - Bus ride to Oxford. Way to be specific, Gow. You really put in the effort on this one.
Team Name Topic
Listen up, assholes. I told you last week, I'm out of ideas. I threatened going Favorite Cereal if you didn't supply me ideas.
Well, Halloween is Wednesday, so we're slightly mixing it up: Best Halloween Candy. Yeah that's right. Nothing fun or goofy, or reminders of days gone by. This is the shit you're going to get if you don't help come up with topics. I don't have a bottomless well of ideas and I'm sure as hell not going to try to brainstorm something right now...
Twix is taken. That's mine.
Let's Embarrass Each Other
I know many of you have old Halloween photos... if possible, send them to me before Wednesday. Thank you kindly, in advance.
The Games
Not spending much time here either...
Rod Jerks (115) vs. Ike Crabs (84)
- Crabs and I spent every day since Thursday's game trying to "Dirx" (i.e. jinx) each other. I won.
- BTW, the term Dirxing is so 2 years ago... Dirxing, as of last year, refers to WINNING THE WHOLE FUCKING LEAGUE SUCK ON THESE NUTS.
- Romo threw 4 picks and still scored 19 for Crabs...rare.
- I got too smart and benched Julio for Cobb. I'd probably do it again.
- Crabs has AZ defense tonight. Needs a HUGE game from them.
Andy Crapswell (81) vs. Ned Titwarmer (55)
- Ned's team is a dumpster fire at this point. Yikes.
- Andy got the monster game from Doug Martin on Thursday. That accounted for almost half his point thus far.
- Andy still has Vernon Davis and SF defense and will probably win by like 60 points this week.
Juan Coconuts (88) vs. Dick Dallus (94)
- Speaking of dumpster fires, the 2 QB's in this matchup (Eli & Cutler) combined for less than 12 points.
- Juan's day was really saved by his Patriots, Gronk & Ridley. No one else really did shit.
- Dallus' team was pretty balanced with everyone contributing other than Gates, and the aforementioned Cutler.
- A very close one here... down essentially 6 points, Juan has Akers. He needs FG's, not XP's, tonight.
JoJo Fredricks (79) vs. NooShoo Gow (55)
- JoJo's best player was his Kicker.
- Had Gow's defense (Miami) not scored 22 pts, he may have set a new low point total this week.
- This wasn't the prettiest match...
- JoJo leads by a lot and has Frank Gore. Gow is playing Kendall Hunter, who isn't the only backup RB he started this week.
- Both teams will be 4-4 on Tuesday.
Marcus Whitebread (88) vs. Kenny Hana (105)
- Probably the most interesting matchup going into tonight.
- Marcus really could have used Peyton Manning, who was on his bench. RG3 had an off day... and Leonard Hankerson can't catch TD's.
- Kenny got a huge day from Brady. His new meal ticket, Rashad Jennings, scored a not-great-not-bad 9.5 points.
- Both teams had a lot of strong performers. This will be a tough week for whoever takes the loss.
- Whitebread trails by 17 and has Larry Fitz going tonight. Which Fitz will show up? That will determine which team goes to 4-4 or 3-5. A very big match for these two...
Tonight
I'll be there. And I'm ready to argue with Gow about something...anything.
See you there, boys.
If the polls aren't working, post your vote here. Something is amiss with these stupid polls.
ReplyDelete3 Things:
ReplyDelete(1) I totally dropped the ball on team names this week . . . sorry about
that.
(2) speaking of team names, I know you're running short on ideas so let me
try to throw one out there. We already did this category last year, but it
proved to be quite a hit, and should give you lots of material for the
blog. I'm not exactly sure what the title of the category is but it's
basically "Hot Girl Who Played a Minor Role in a Movie or T.V. Show."
and most importantly . . .
(3) As the Commish pointed out, I'm down by 6 points heading into MNF. Dallus is done and I have David Akers going. Based on the matchup and Aker's typicaly output, I should have little trouble pulling off the win. Honestly, 2 field goals is not asking much out of Akers. In short, the stage is set for the possibility(slim, I hope) of a classic Juan Coconuts meltdown at Sally's tonight if things don't go as expected. So come on out tonight . . . it could be quite entertaining, and you wouldn't want to miss it!
1. Ok, how good is Purdue? Because they did not look that good. And I know we're not that good.
ReplyDeletePurdue is very inconsistent. Who else plays Ohio State and Notre Dame tough and then gets blown out by Minnesota, Michigan and Wisconsin? They have talent on the DL but we somehow neutralized it with 3 sophomores and 2 freshman in the starting lineup...4 of which were backups to start the regular season.
2. Nelson's the story here, as he should be. But what else about the Gophers impressed you?
Maybe you missed it but Michael Carter had perhaps the most impressive series I've ever seen from a CB. In a 5-play stretch Carter knocked down three balls and intercepted a fourth and returned it for a TD. The only play among the 5 where he didn't cause an incompletion was a QB scramble after he couldn't find an open WR. Carter finished the game with 6 PBU's, 6 tackles and an Int and was named Big Ten co-defensive player of the week.
3. Ok, Illinois is the game everyone is saying we should win to be bowl-eligible. Is there another game (or games) that we'll have a chance to surprise people?
If you haven't noticed, the Big Ten isn't that good this year. Denard Robinson got hurt on Saturday and his status for this week is uncertain. Even without him, Michigan should be favored because of their running game but Nebraska caught as many of his passes (3) as his WRs did (3/16 passing with 3 INTs). Michigan has actually gone 8 quarters since scoring their last TD. Do I think we'll win? No. Is there a chance? If we get an early lead and let our DL get some pressure on the QB our chances don't look all that bad--particularly if the QB is Bellomy instead of Denard (who has also been turnover prone highlighted by throwing INTs on 4 consecutive passes--yes, a stretch of 0/4 passing with 4 INT).
Aside from that, Nebraska has lost some headscratchers under Pelini. They are definitely better than us but their QB (who earlier this year had his throwing motion compared to skipping rocks) is definitely capable of turning the ball over in bunches--particularly if playing from behind.
And then for our final game we play MSU. They have an elite defense that is only allowing 15 points per game but their offense is about as lively as Hovie's sex life and nobody has seen Burt Reynolds in years. In MSU's four Big Ten games against teams not named Indiana they have yet to score more than 16 points. Their defense will keep them in any game but their offense will keep almost any team in the game with them.
In summary, yes, our opponents are bad enough that they could lose to us.
4. Wisconsin lost at home. This isn't really a question, but I wanted to make sure it didn't go unnoticed. Feel free to dance a jig.
(If this doesn't work, copy & paste link to see) [IMG]http://www.971thefan.com/content/blogs/common-man-torg/Images/Bielema_crying.jpg[/IMG]
I meant to say, Nebraska caught as many of Bellomy's (Denard's back up) passes as his WRs did.
ReplyDeleteBest - Hoveland's Tinfoil. I totally forgot about this! It's just another testament to how gay we all are/were.
ReplyDeleteWorst - Gow's Ambiguous Yawn Inspiring Stories (G.A.Y.S.)
Here's some team name ideas:
Your favorite "Coed Naked" Sport and tag line NO stealing their lines. Be creative beyond sports...
Since it's political season and even though I desperately want it to end (been home 2 days in the past 5 weeks) Think of an anti (choose your candidate) slogan in 20 characters. The more inappropriate the better and whoever makes Juan the angriest wins!
I will come up with more as I drink my way through MNF alone in my hotel room...