Anatomy of a Fantasy Football Loss

Let's see, it's been almost two months since I've posted anything on the blog. I hoped to do an occasional Vikings Update, but I've been so busy at work these last two months that I truly feel it's negatively impacted my fantasy performance, which I consider this blog to be a part of. Time for a new job (seriously).

Now that I'm over my exit from fantasy football this year, I thought it would be entertaining to highlight a few key moments from Week 13 that epitomized my entire season. I wanted to do this sooner, but I think it's still worth sharing.

Downfall #1: Starting an old, injured tight-end
Antonio Gates had been banged up over the last half of the season but was serviceable enough to start considering there wasn't anyone else I'd consider an upgrade heading into the weekend. There were reports of him possibly not playing on Sunday, but this has been the message every single week for the past three years so why would this week be any different? I checked my roster mid-morning and no updates.

11:55pm: I check my lineup one more time and see this message: According to ESPN's Adam Schefter, Gates "doesn't know how long he can go." Fuuuuuck you Rotoworld and Yahoo for putting this up now. My computer was off, so I had to scramble on Yahoo's FFB app on my phone to find a body. Not good. I'm standing up in my dining room to maximize my efficiency and eliminate child-enabled distractions.

11:57pm: I'm looking at Charles Clay or John Carlson. Both terrible, but at least they should be playing the whole game.

11:58pm: Girl Child climbs onto a chair and starts drawing on our dining table with a marker. Fuck it, it's washable, no major harm done. Add John Carlson? Done.

11:59pm: Girl Child is now standing on the chair, reaching up to the sky for no apparent reason. Jess yells at me from the kitchen to get her down, and I quickly turn to place her back on the ground and then insert John Carlson into my starting lineup in one swift motion.

12:00pm: Error message, player not added.

Final week 13 points: Antonio Gates - 2.10, John Carlson 6.10.


Downfall #2: Victor Cruz tackled at the 1 yard line
This can happen to a FFB team in any given week as well but is another good example of things not breaking your way all season long. For the record, I still like Victor Cruz as a player, but I didn't bank on Eli becoming worse than Ponder this year.

1st and 10 at WSH 20	(Shotgun) E.Manning pass short left to V.Cruz to WAS 1 for 19 yards (D.Hall, L.Fletcher) [C.Baker]. PENALTY on WAS-D.Hall, Unsportsmanlike Conduct, 0 yards, enforced at WAS 1.
1st and 1 at WSH 1	A.Brown right tackle for 1 yard, TOUCHDOWN. The Replay Assistant challenged the runner broke the plane ruling, and the play was Upheld.

Downfall #3: "Roughing the passer" against the Saints

During this game, Russell Wilson was basically doing to the Saints what Brees should have been doing to the Seahawks. Noo-Shoo had already Dirxed me at this point by walking out of the bar, but I wasn't going to let that get in the way of my victory. Regardless, I was feeling good about my chances at this point since I needed one more field goal from Haushka to put me over the top. As soon as this happened in the 3rd quarter, I knew it was all over. 

3rd and 2 at NO 20	(Shotgun) R.Wilson pass incomplete short left to D.Baldwin [A.Hicks]. PENALTY on NO-A.Hicks, Roughing the Passer, 10 yards, enforced at NO 20 - No Play.
1st and 10 at NO 10	M.Lynch right tackle to NO 8 for 2 yards (D.Hawthorne, W.Herring).
2nd and 8 at NO 8	R.Wilson pass short right to D.Coleman for 8 yards, TOUCHDOWN. Touched first by SS #87. The Replay Assistant challenged the pass completion ruling, and the play was Upheld.

If you watched the play, it was a BS penalty (happens almost every game, but still...). The Seahawks went on Cruz control (see how I did that?) the rest of the way and made no effort to score any more points. 

If any one of these things goes my way, I win in Week 13. Instead I lose by 1.78 and am out of the playoffs. Predictably, my team shit the bed in Week 14, so it didn't matter in hindsight. But still, there is that feeling of self-gratification when you make it into one of the highly coveted playoff spots in our league. 

What's the lesson here? I don't know. Maybe don't have kids and a full-time job if you want to win? It's got to be one or the other. If Andy wins next week, this theory will hold true for at least one year...