Pick ups of the year: Good things DO happen on September 11th!

Lets start out with some well deserved awards! You might not be able to tangibly kiss the crystal penis trophy that we all had thought up for this award, but let it be known that we all want to kiss your actual penis for how good your FF perseverance was!

Life is funny sometimes. Sometimes we totally blow off LPGA for having the most overtly rough cooch licking lesbians that couldn't get a life term prisoner hard, and then we end up giving the good looking one the trophy shaped like the largest penis known to the western world (notice how I left out Africa -- you know their trophies are HUGE and probably just made out of food anyway cause they're just gonna pawn them to feed their families).  It just gets me upset that there's so many total muff diving queens there that would have made so much of a better picture kissing a glass dick than this chick. Fuck Cheerios.

I know in the past we've had a few others that I forget, but one of the most frequent and beneficial actions we can do during the season is the PICKUP and we had a few solid choices these past 4 months while grinding it out...

I'm not sure if this is Joe Mauer (see: serious sideburns) or this guy I used to know, but this is what I'm talking about when I mean grinding it out! You find a goal and you just go hard at it no matter what the odds are...which usually aren't very good.

I submit some solid pick ups in order from #1 to #5 (up for debate) based upon their pick up date and the average amount of points generated from the specific position.

#1. Kansas City Defense - 11.07 pts/wk avg. after picking up for $3 FAAB on Sept 25 by Ike Crabs (#1 point scoring Defense)

#2. Knowshon Moreno - 13.86 pts/wk avg. after picking up for $12 FAAB on Sept 11 by Andy Crapswell (5th highest scoring RB)

#3. Julius Thomas - 6.89 pts/wk avg. after picking up for $33 FAAB on Sept 11 by Ike Crabs (3rd highest point scoring TE).

#4. Zac Stacey - 13.8 pts/wk avg. after picking up for $1 FAAB on Oct 3 by Andy Crapswell

#5. Philip Rivers - 15.56 pts/wk avg. after picking up for $1 FAAB on Sept 25 by Dick Dallus (5th highest scoring QB)

I would have had to said Foles here at #5, but he was dropped midway though is starting QB role.

Ok, enough looking back. Onto the future. Wait one more time looking back....back to last Sunday and my numerous texts with Rob in his attempt to textually "Dirx" me. We all know what it is...his are so much sweeter than the whole Kao "get up and walk away from MNF" Dirxing which was moderately odd regardless if it worked. Bob had it down, until I re-dirx him via text.....see below

Notice the strategic use of Apple emoticons to say, "hey I'm so not gonna get that trophy...you will soon be partying and high fiving other people while collecting a large wad of currency".

So I'm happy to report the anti dirx works (werx). So I think it's safe to say that there will soon be an anti anti dirx. But wait!....

Jerks has embraced the anti-Dirx and now realized it doesn't "werx".  Reminds me of a special exchange these guys I know had a few years back...

Well the anti anti Dirx didn't work and finally there's going to be something new at the top of that mountain (see picture).

Down goes Jerks! As the pledge class dropped Jerks in the homecoming parade in 2000, he falls again 13 years later.  I hope you enjoyed your reign at the top and I hope I enjoyed writing this since I get to do it only once every 9 years.

For those of you competing for the bronze medal...please consider this trophy. I think it looks like you're both winners...

kinda looks like the 3rd floor of the BOTT some nights, but what do I know, I was refereeing.