Monday Update: The Nonsense You Came For

Gentlemen,

That last post gave me flashbacks to chapter meeting. I felt Deno-ish just typing it.

Let's make with the fun stuff, that's why you're here.

Team Names

A great showing from everyone last week, bravo all around. Most everyone was even able to change their name by the Thursday game, which is great.

I'm curious... did Juan get some details about Sowers' fraud? If so, I'd love to hear.

This week we're going to try to be all young and cool again, with a favorite topic of the past - Favorite Guilty Pleasure Song (from the past year). Let's talk ground rules here:

1. Can't be a good song. If you're not sure if it's a good song or a bad song, it's probably not bad enough. You know when a song is bad.
2. Must have had regular radio play on KDWB. We're not picking some shit that is limited release and you can only hear on The Current. In fact, that already breaks Rule #1. No, this has to be a popular song (over)distributed to the masses.
• Country is crossing over into the pop realm these days, so I would consider a "country" song, as long as it's still terrible.
3. Must have been released in the last year... or so. Not a hard and fast rule, but don't go back too far. There's been plenty of bad music in the last year.
4. You have to at least kind of like the song. 

Next week, I'll post a link to the video of each and we'll actually have a vote. The reaction you're looking for from your fellow leaguemates is "Oh yeah I actually like that song..."

My choice may surprise some of you, considering my well-documented hatred: TIMBER.

Pitbull, Ke$ha, and donkeys. Good luck topping that.

The Games

Rod Jerks (156.18) vs. Ned Titwarmer (133.60)

• Ned had two guys going in that CIN-CAR game (Gio, Sanu). Both performed well and got probably another 10 points in OT. I absolutely hate when guys I'm playing against go into OT. It feels like they're stealing points. TACKLE SOMEBODY KUECHLY.
• Andre Williams was the most expensive FAAB bid thus far ($45) and did not live up to the billing last night (6.3pts). 
• Still to play: Nobody.

This one is over. Ned was 3-2 at one point last week, yet will fall to 2-4 tomorrow.

NooShoo Gow (152.34) vs. Bill Fredricks (142.88)

• TY Hilton was on Bill's bench (32.3). Bill probably wishes he could have started him.
• Going into last night, Gow was up about 15 with McCoy (19.4) going. Meanwhile Bill started Foles (14.92), Maclin (2.1), Donnell (0.6), and Parkey (10). Bill was the heavy favorite, but ultimately his pass catchers laid a huge egg.
• Still to play: Nobody.

Gow climbs to 5-1 while Bill will fall alone into last place at 1-5 (which is crazy) because...

Marcus Whitebread (117.52) vs. Andy Crapswell (102.98)

• Andy had 3 players score less than 4 points, including a QB (Teddy...ugh).
• Cracker meanwhile had his own crappy QB (Eli - 6.34) but was solid enough everywhere else
• Still to play:
• Whitebread: Gore

Whitebread climbs out of the basement to 2-4, which will tie him Andy.

Juan Coconuts (114.44) vs. Dick Dallus (110.00)

• Juan lost another player to injury (Ridley). Philosophical question: does one ever truly "lose" Stevan Ridley or are you simply freed of him?
• The two defenses in this one combined for -1. 
• Still to play:
• Dallus: Kaepernick

Dallus is a 94% favorite to win. Barring some injury to Kaep, Dallus will move to 5-1 although he'll drop to 2nd because Gow should likely take him over in points.

Kenni Hana (119.62) vs. Ike Crabs (97.74)

• Kenni's RBs (Spiller, Doug Martin) net him less than 7 points combined. This is a team currently tied for 1st. 
• Crabs could have put this completely in doubt last night with both Cruz and Randle going against Philly, who was the worst pass defense in the league. Instead, the two players got him less than 10 combined and Cruz is out for the year. Oof.
• Still to play:
• Crabs: Vernon Davis, Phil Dawson, SF Def

Crabs is a 53% favorite to win, so this is really a coin flip. If Crabs can pull it out, he'll have climbed to 3-3 after starting out 0-3. If Kenni wins, he'll stay tied for 1st at 5-1. 

Tonight

Let's stick with Sensors another week. There's a lot less kids and guys studying in cardigans.

Gladly.

See you tonight, boys.