Monday Update: Poor Effort

Gentlemen,

Do I have time for a Monday Update today?



This is going to be incredibly abridged, so prepare to be disappointed.

Team Names

I'm sick of looking at Fridley Tumors and not understanding the reference.

Also, Tulsa Roadrunners? Dallus, did you even read the setup two weeks ago? It wasn't supposed to be an actual mascot... it was supposed to make fun of the town. Unless Tulsa has a history of hit-and-runs with joggers or something.

The topic this week is Something You Learned at the BOTT Reunion. This doesn't have to be scientific... just something that surprised you or was interesting to find out from the events this past weekend. This can be 100% truthful, or sort of half-truth in order to be funny. At least try to be funny.

As an example, mine is: Amelious Whyte is Still A Thing.

For the jerks that didn't show, pretend you did. Either reference something that you've learned despite not showing (e.g. _______ is gay!) or make something up that is probably likely (e.g. Lunas lives at home!).

This shouldn't be that difficult. Let's goal to have them all updated by the Thursday night game. Please and thank you.

BTW, we found this in the roll books:

#Stricken

#Trail

#NeverWas

The Games

Ike Crabs (138.76) beats Juan Coconuts (91.38). In an upset, Juan did not complain about Calvin Johnson.

Marcus Whitebread (135.60) leads Rod Jerks (119.26). Still to play:

• Whitebread: Garcon, Hauschka
• Jerks; Russ Wilson

Whitey is 90% favorite and it's probably more than that because success for Wilson is somewhat correlated to success for Hauschka. I'll probably lose with the 2nd-highest score this week and yes I'm crabby about it. Gonna be 2-3 despite a legitimate change to lead the league in points after tonight. Stupid Philly D...

Dick Dallus (126.58) leads Bill Fredricks (96.38). Still to play:

• Bill: Lynch

Dallus is a 92% favorite, although I think Bill has a better chance to pull this out than I do. Still, 30 points is an awful lot to ask for. 

Kenni Hanna (90.50) leads Ned Titwarmer (71.64) that just makes me angry. Still to play:

• Ned: Cousins

Kenni is a 79% favorite to go to 4-1 despite his team being mostly terrible.

NooShoo Gow (133.98) leads Andy Crapswell (103.10). Still to play:

• Andy: Alf Morris, Seattle D

Gow is a 79% favorite, but it was much higher. I turned the late game off when Gronk scored his TD and at that point Gow was up like 50-60 points. Then apparently Gostkowski kicked like 17 FG's and now this is actually possible for Andy. 

Tonight

Are we sticking with BWW or are we tired of the terrible service enough to try something else. To prevent a debate, I'm going to go ahead and going to deem that something else to be Joe Sensors. We can debate alternate locations tonight, but not enough time for a debate today.

I get there late, so it makes little difference to me - I'll go with the majority. You guys decide. Vote in the comments or via the text group.

Juan, you may want to put the Do Not Disturb on...

See you tonight, boys.