Monday Update: It (Finally!) Feels Good To Be A Fan Again

Gentlemen,

As yesterday's post mentioned, Mr. Ike Crabs came over to take in my Football Viewing Lair yesterday and we spent a good portion of the day watching your Minnesota Vikings take on the 49ers. There was a point early in the game where Alex Smith was getting rushed and I yelled "Hit him!"

Crabs looked confused at me then asked, "Do you have the Vikings defense?"

This is where we now find ourselves, Gents. No longer do we even consider the possibility that we could be cheering for a game, unless there are fantasy implications. Despite the fact that we were watching the local team that both Ike and I root for, and said squad was looking very solid against what many considered to be the NFL's best team, it still seemed odd that I was simply cheering as a fan.

We've talked in the past about how, as Vikings fans, we've begun watching the local boys less and less, especially as RedZone came into our lives. And last year, I spent the whole season rooting for them to lose (#SuckForLuck) to boost their draft position and either land Luck/RG3 or to get a massive haul in a trade.

But last season wasn't any fun as a fan.

I don't know how good the Vikings are going to be this year, but here's what I can say...

• They're better than last year; how much better is TBD
• They shored up Left Tackle, which has been a rallying cry of mine for years
• They are getting, at a minimum, solid QB play from a young guy who only projects to get better
• This next year's draft class doesn't look as top-heavy as last season, thus there isn't the Luck-type guy to lose for
• No, Matt Barkley isn't Andrew Luck. He might be Jimmy Clausen...

I'm probably going to go 0-2 this week with my fantasy teams. And I really don't care. I haven't had this much fun watching football, as a fan, in a really long time. 

We haven't touched on the Gophers yet (we will), but between them and the Vikings, this is shaping up to be a very fun football season. 

Kick back and enjoy it, boys. There will always be Fantasy.

The Vikings
Not going to break down X's and O's here and I already went on-and-on, but I'll say this: I wasn't sold on Ponder before this game. Didn't hate him by any means, but I didn't love him either. His stats always seemed better than how he actually played, and Frazier/Musgrave were giving him simple passes to make sure he succeeded. But I couldn't really tell if he was the real deal or not.

After yesterday, I'm ready to roll with him. He looked poised, accurate, and smart. And now we get Jerome Simpson back to help open up the passing game even more. Even when he was pressured yesterday, it seemed like he always made the defense pay.

I'm sure this is overreacting to one game, but this guy is still super young and only going to continue to improve. When's the last time we had a young QB to be excited about? Daunte in 2000?

Admit it... you kinda liked the "get your roll on" thing...

The Gophers
Speaking of "when's the last time...", when's the last time the Gophers had a defense like the one we saw on Saturday? Wow, that was a fun game to watch. Even though the offense struggled to finish drives, the game never really felt in doubt, especially after 'Cuse drove down to the 1-yard line...only to have it end with Gophers blitzing the safety, leading to an awesome INT.

My sources tell me that following that game-changing play, the music operator at The Bank cranked up "Gangnam Style" and the place, specifically the student section went nuts and danced like the Korean guy that sings it. If you're unfamiliar, take a look and imagine The Bank rocking. Awesome moment.



UPDATE: Looks like there is video of UMN Gangnam Style, albeit brief, followed by DJ Kool. Looks awesome. I've not been to a game this festive at The Bank.

Cracker's College Football Corner
With more on this game and the Gophers, I asked Cracker 3 specific questions:

1) Who is the better QB for this team?

Honestly, it doesn't really matter that much and at the same time it depends on the opponent.  Both are capable and both give you different things.  The running game is better with Gray in the game.  Syracuse has been gashed by opponents running games giving up 5.5 yards per carry prior to playing Minnesota.  With Shortell in the game and Kirkwood carrying it we were effective but Kirkwood only averaged 3.5 yards per carry.  Shortell is a much better passer and will give you a more balanced offense that can hit on play action more frequently.  Because of Gray's ability to run though, he probably threatens a defense more because when you can run Power with the QB they need to bring a safety in to the box to match up numbers and that gives WRs the chance to run free.  The problem, as we saw in the UNLV game when Gray missed 4 open WRs for sure TDs as well as a few open ones for first downs, is completing those passes.  The preference of QB really just depends on what kind of gameplan you want (run heavy vs. balanced offense) but either can be effective.  When Gray is back I'd personally like to see a little bit of a mix and match to make it tougher for coaches to game plan against us.  As we saw with Western Michigan, we can adjust our offensive game plan a lot quicker than a defensive coach can adjust his.

2) Rank the B1G Teams, 1-12:

There isn’t a team in the Big Ten without flaws. 

Mark’s Big Ten Power Ranking: 

1. Ohio State (4-0) – In no way do they deserve to be at the top.  However, who does?  They have been somewhat lucky to beat Cal (who lost to a DI-AA team in week 1) and UAB in back-to-back weeks while getting outgained in each them.

2. Nebraska (3-1) – UCLA gashed them and exposed a lack of speed in their defense.  However, how many Big Ten teams actually have the chance to do the same? 

3. Michigan State (3-1) – An elite defense (ranked #6 nationally, #1 in the B1G) coupled with a good running back but offset by no passing game.  At least the defense should keep them in every game. 

4. Northwestern (4-0) – After giving up 41 to Syracuse and winning solely because of special teams and defensive touchdowns the Wildcats defense has shown marked improvement.  They have beaten 3 bad teams from AQ conferences which is a better resume than anyone else in the conference but I still am not totally buying in. 

5. Michigan (2-2) – Losses to Alabama and Notre Dame put the Wolverines at .500.  They're ranked ahead of Purdue solely because it took a -5 turnover ratio to lose to the Irish by 7 whereas Purdue lost by 3 with a -1 turnover ratio.  I just don't see Michigan throwing interceptions on 5 consecutive passes again the rest of the season.  

6. Purdue (2-1) – I have the top bowl eligible team from the Leaders checking in at #7.  Yes, the Leaders appears to be that bad.  Purdue has a strong defense (#17 nationally, #2 in the B1G) which makes them the current favorite to win the B1G Leaders division.  They looked good in a loss to Notre Dame but they have only played 3 games and the other two were to DI-AA Eastern Kentucky and MAC bottom feeder Eastern Michigan so we really don't know much about Purdue. 

7. Minnesota (4-0) – What is this new found thing in Minneapolis?  A defense?  It is still early but the last time the Gophers defense looked this good was 199.  They currently rank #3 in the Big Ten and #21 nationally in defense (by yardage) and are only giving up 16.8 ppg (#31 nationally) or 13.25 ppg in regulation (since college OT can really skew point totals).  They are doing it with a pass rush that averages 2.75 sacks per game (#2 in the B1G) and most importantly they aren't having to blitz to get to the QB because DL Wilhite (4.5 sacks, #1 in the B1G) and Ra'Shede Hageman (#3 sacks, tied for #3 in the B1G) are getting there by themselves.  The pressure has led to 7 interceptions (#7 nationall, #1 in the B1G). 

8. Wisconsin (3-1) – After a couple years with a horseshoe up their *ss, Wisconsin finally appears to be reverting to more reasonable level.  They're lucky to get out of their cakewalk non-conference schedule with only one loss after Utah State missed an easy FG for the win and DI-AA Northern Iowa gave them a scare across the fifty driving for the win in the last two minutes.  Bielema's  

9. Iowa (2-2) – Iowa?  More like lolwa.  They could easily be 1-3 right now.  Who hates Iowa? 

10. Penn State (2-2) – Pretty much what they were last year, solid defense with a miserable ginger for a QB but without Silas Redd or a kicker. 

11. Indiana (2-1) –  They're ranked 11 solely because narrowly losing to Ball State seems better than getting blown out by Louisiana Tech. 

12. Illinois (2-2) – Maybe this should be Indiana or Penn State but when the last thing anybody saw from you is losing 52-24 at home to Louisiana Tech you get the cellar.

3) Without looking, what do you think the line should be for Saturday's game at Iowa?

I already know the line is Iowa -6.  It seems absurd to me that the line would open up that far in their favor.  My opinion has less to do with what Minnesota has done this year, or in our previous two meetings with Iowa, and more to do with Iowa.  With what we have seen from each team this year I would have expected us to be favored on a neutral field so I thought this would open as a pick or within 2 points either way.  Iowa has a good defense but has struggled offensively.  Without even knowing the over/under I would lean toward taking the under in this game with both teams seeming likely to struggle to get points.  Turnovers will be the key and I really like our chances of retaining Floyd.

Well done, Marcus. Appreciate the contribution.

Team Names
Ok, I think I've got this voting thing figured out, but we'll see...

Comments welcomed below. Remember, NO voting for yourself. Honor system, gents. If we don't have our word, we're no different than the animals.

Who had the Best Team Name in Week 3?

Some good choices here, but I had to vote for Michele Bachmann. Had Cracker gone with Skip Bayless instead of Stephen A., I may have switched. But as Minnesotan who usually leans conservative in voting, I can't stand this woman and people who aren't from MN associate her with us, which pisses me right off. She can go ahead and die in a fire.

Note: I had to have someone explain who Honey BooBoo is to me. Upon hearing about her, I could definitely see myself voting for her if I had actually seen the show.

Who had the Worst Team Name in Week 3?
Definitely a couple options here too. I mean Flo? Is she really a celebrity?  And what year is this if we're still making Carrot Top jokes?

But the worst for me, and I'm sure he was striving for this, has to be Parkin's Son. I'm guessing Kenny was going for the shock factor, but the idea was to pick a celebrity you wish would die...not one that actually might very soon.

Moving on to this week, Andy submits this as our topic: Worst BOTT Purchase/Idea From Chapter Meeting.

I like it. Let's put some parameters around this. Since it was near impossible to get anything passed in meetings, let's say this can be something we actually did pass/approve/buy or just an idea that was raised in meeting but was summarily shot or voted down.

Hmmm... a couple ideas come to mind, but seems like there should be some golden options here, so I gotta think on this. The usual discussion at MNF should help jog the memories a little bit...

The Games
Oof... As I mentioned earlier, I'm all but assured to go 0-2 this week in fantasy. My 2 QB's started were Vick and Romo. And something called Mohammed Sanu threw more TD's yesterday than both of them combined. Let's get to it...

Rod vs. JoJo

• Before I whine, let's first get JoJo out of the way because his team really did have a kick ass day. 
• Jamaal Charles just killed me. Goddamn... apparently it's ok to give a RB coming off ACL surgery 40 touches in a game. 288 total yards later and he's still standing.
• Calvin Johnson had 1 catch at halftime, yet ended with 165 yards and a TD. That was a crazy 2nd half, if anyone watched.
• Actually lots of games were nuts yesterday. Chiefs/Saints was goofy as well, and Brees, despite not having a very good real-life game, scored 3 TD's. 
• Ok, let me whine... I had 3 guys going in the early games and all 3 were productive. Yet, 2 of them didn't even make it to halftime before getting injured. Cook and Spiller were both having massive games that were cut short. ROD SAD.
• For the 3rd week (out of 3), I've started the wrong QB. Vick... Fuck him. Can I change my team name to him? He's the celebrity I want to die instead.
• For all my bitching, I actually had a good week and would have beaten just about all you assholes. I'm certainly in line for the Loser Bonus and might even end up the #2 scorer this week. 
• JoJo wins 128-103. Fuck the world.

Crabs vs. Whitebread

• I mean look at these assclowns. Nice battle of the 2-0 teams. Combined your teams scored 4 TD's, and that includes 2 from RG3.
• For Crabs, I mean NOTHING was interesting. Romo sucked. Cruz sucked. Harvin was ok. McFadden busted a long one. AP was ok. Celek sucked (nice work, Vick). Ridley sucked.
• For Whitebread, RG3 = Good. Stevie Johnson was good. Wayne was ok. McCoy disappointed (11 carries, really?). McGahee got hurt and sucked. Mathews returned, but sucked. 
• Congrats. One of you will be 3-0 after today. It will probably be Cracker. He trails 77-74 but has Packers D and Finley going tonight. 
• This seems like a good time to point out that Cracker's only had 247 points scored against him thru 3 weeks, whereas I've had 325 scored against me. 

Kenny vs. Dallus

• Another guy jewing his way up the standings: Kenny. Currently has only 241 scored against him, although his opponent isn't done yet this week. 
• Kenny picked up Andy Dalton and temporarily had him in his starting lineup this weekend. I thought that was nuts to bench Brady in favor of Ferguson from Clarissa Explains It All, but it proved to be the right decision. 
• Except Kenny caved. Not sure when it happened, but he ended up putting Brady in there. Not the worst result, just 6 less points. 
• The Bears D was huge for Kenny: 23 points. His biggest contributor so far...
• Dallus continues to hitch his wagons to Chris Johnson. Thus far his wagons have only moved like 50 yards on the season.
• Cam Newton sucked last Thursday, and thus Steve Smith had only an ok day. The downside of doubling down on a passing connection.
• Dallus' best player is Jason Hanson. 
• Kenny leads 88-64. He still has Jordy and Mason Crosby yet to go. Dallus counters with Marshawn. Barring some sort of a Skittles Miracle, Kenny will be the league's worst 2-1 team tomorrow.

Coconuts vs. Crapswell

• Former roommates. They shared the same women. Now they share the same record: 0-2. 
• Juan jumped out to a huge lead here. He had both Eli and the latest phenom Andre Brown going last Wednesday.
• Then early Sunday, AJ Green scores a long one and it looks like Juan is going to run away with this one. 
• And then his team didn't score again.
• Andy had a bunch of injuries and scrambled over the weekend to fill a roster. His team scored one TD.
• BUT... he still does have Aaron Rodgers going tonight. Down 91-55, it's a tall task but if there was one player you'd want, it'd have to be Rodgers. 

Ned vs. Gow

• Another craptastic battle that will result in a gift win for somebody.
• Let's start with Ned... what the hell has happened to Matthew Stafford? Shaun Hill threw 2 TD's in 18 seconds. Stafford had 1.
• TD's actually saved Ned from a horrible day. Andre Johnson, BJGE, Owen Daniels, Jets D - ALL of them would have had bad days without the touchdowns. His score could have easily been sub-50 pts. 
• Gow started 2 of his 3 Ravens and he should have just started them all. 
• Flacco got him 26, Ray Rice 21... and had he started the grieving Torrey Smith, he would have net him 25. 
• Any non-Ravens that he started were terrible. Plain and simple.
• Gow can somehow pull out a win tonight with just 6 more points, trailing 73-79.
• He has CedBen and Sid Rice going tonight, so it's definitely going to happen. With those guys playing, there is no need to even questions any alternatives. CedBen and Sid Rice not only are the healthiest and most reliable of guys, but true STUDS. The only real question is how much does Gow win the Points Bonus by? 
• Congrats to Gow. Gow wins. Tomorrow Gow is 2-1.

Tonight
Let's first start by addressing last week...

With lots of people having kids in the last year, Cracker rubbing elbows with Norwood Teague, and Ned doing "Ned things", Gow was the only person available for MNF last week. He did not attend. Boy, he should have...

If you missed last week, the 1st Quarter was at least an hour. It was a crazy combination of turnovers, scoring, challenges, injuries, and just a trainwreck of officiating.

It all came to a head as there was a fight on the field and all kinds of shit the refs took 8-10 minutes to figure out. All the while there was 0:02 on the clock, and I can only imagine the insane climax at Sally's  that we missed out on...

So basically, that was the 1st Quarter we've been waiting 8 seasons for... and no one was there to take it in. Shame on all of us.

Alas, the beat goes on. Tonight features our favorite team to root against, The Green Bay Packers, against a team QB'd by a guy who I hated last year because he shouldn't have even been allowed to be on my most hated team, Wisconsin. That's the long way of saying the Seahawks, which have Russell Wilson as QB.

I'm still not a fan of Wilson, but I hate the Packers, specifically Packers fans.

There will be plenty of these dickheads in attendance tonight. Let's not forget, it was a magical Packer MNF loss that gave us the "YOU SHUT UP!" line from the gentleman we lovingly referred to as "Alabama Bangs".

I'll be there around 7:15pm. If you can get there sooner, please do so.

Enjoy the game, boys.