2013's Boobs and Butts...I meant Booms and Busts

Keeping with some rules of no significant injuries where they missed more than two consecutive games, the player wasn't traded, dropped or picked up....I submit to you a few of the biggest BUSTs and BOOMs of the 2013 draft. A few that immediately stick out were...

Running Backs - BUSTS
Trent Richardson   $55 for 109.9 points = 1.99 pts/$  Ned
Ray Rice               $56 for 120.1 points = 2.14 pts/$  Crabs
CJ Spiller              $51 for 121.2 points = 2.37 pts/$  NewShoo

Wide Receviers - BOOM
Josh Gordon         $4 for 227.4 points = 56.85 pts/$  Crabs
Alshon Jeferry      $1 for 194.6 points = 194.6 pts/$   Juan

Yes these include week 17 numbers but I didn't care to look it up and subtract it.

Comment if you can find a better boom or bust...I only ran through the list once.

Monday Update: Final Standings & FF Playoffs

Gentlemen,

First day back in the office in over a week and lots to do, so I'm just doing the bare bones here. If Coconuts wants to brag, gloat, or call more attention to his Championship victory, he'll have to write his own blog post. 

Here's the final standings with $ that will be paid out via LeagueSafe shortly:

PLACE	TEAM	PRIZE $	POINTS $	LOSER $	EMPIRE $	TOTAL $
1st	Juan Coconuts	$400	$15	$10		$425
2nd	Andy Crapswell	$200	$30			$230
3rd	Rod Jerks	$100	$15	$5	$40	$160
4th	Kenni Hana		$30			$30
5th	NooShoo Gow		$15	$5		$20
6th	Ned Titwarmer			$5		$5
7th	Marcus Whitebread		$30	$10		$40
8th	Bill Fredricks		$45			$45
9th	Ike Crabs		$15	$15		$30
10th	Dick Dallus			$15		$15
						$1,000

The Empire $ is not being awarded to me, but it needs to carry over to next season. Thus, I'm awarding to myself and going to keep it in my LeagueSafe account until the 2014 season. My entry fee next year will be $140, and I believe we can set it up as an Empire League that will have a separate pool for carryover money each year. 

The only person that can win that money next season (which will be $80 at that point) is Juan Coconuts. He's officially Public Enemy #1. I look forward to us all ganging-up on him at the draft.

The Champions

I officially started this league in 2005 and we just now completed our 9th season, which means we've had 9 champions. Here they are:

2005 - Dick Dallus

2006 - NooShoo Gow

2007 - Bill Fredricks

2008 - Kenni Hana

2009 - Ike Crabs

2010 - Ike Crabs

2011 - Rod Jerks

2012 - Rod Jerks

2013 - JUAN COCONUTS!

Whenever we get a trophy, which hopefully will happen this offseason, these are the names that will be printed on it. Congratulations to Juan.

The list of those yet to win: 

• Andy Crapswell (Oh so close...)
• Marcus Whitebread (Mark Brunell's 5 TD's)
• Ned Titwarmer (Brian Westbrook's laydown)

Playoffs (INPUT NEEDED)

There has been some discussion about reformatting our current playoff setup - I'm up for whatever, but we need to figure this out quickly.

As a reminder, our typical playoff format allows you to submit as many teams as you're willing to pay for, similar to brackets for March Madness. Different combinations of players (1 from each team) filling out a roster of 2 QB, 4 RB, 4 WR/TE, 2 K. 

• Some have complained that this really comes down to submitting the most teams. While this isn't exactly true, it certainly does help your odds to submit multiple entries. And the more you submit, the better your chances.
• Some have also simply requested to "mix it up", both with our actual league and playoffs. We can debate our league another day, but I'm certainly willing to mix up the playoff format if the league desires to do so.

The option I would propose as an alternative actually mirrors our regular season league. We would have a draft, probably via email over a couple days, fill out individual rosters (we can determine size), and each player only gets drafted once. 

• The draft would be fun because it not only factors in taking the best players, but also the ones that you believe will advance and play the most games. 
• Personally, I want to try this, but we need everyone on board. Especially to keep the draft moving...

Would love your thoughts in the comments. We need everyone to chime in, if not below then via text. If we decide to go the second route, I'll draw names and we can start the draft today.

Finally

Not sure when my next post will be... I'll try to keep an update on here for the Playoff FF, whatever format we choose.

But in the meantime, thanks for another awesome season. You all know I dig Fantasy Football more than most, but I wouldn't like it this much if we all didn't participate to the level we do. I know lots of people that have not kept in touch with their college buddies as much as we have, and I feel like this league gives us a reason to do so... And as your commissioner, that makes me feel like a proud papa. 

Not to get all sentimental, but I really love this league and look forward to continuing on as your commish for many years to comes, hopefully with this exact same group of guys. 

And a special thanks to those that began their blogging career this season. I think Bottball stepped up to a new level this year, and hope to have it continue even more next season. We need to figure out different posts to have during the offseason...

Anyway, getting long-winded here... You guys are the best. Love you all.

Keep on keepin' on, boys.

Ra'Shede Hageman for real or not?

Knowing that there is a football void, of the fantasy nature, I thought I would fill that space in your heart with some draft analysis.

Watching the Gophers square off against the Syracuse Orangemen, I paid particular attention to Ra'Shede Hageman. Many experts have touted Hageman as a first rounder, but Whitebread and Titwarmer have casted doubt on this assessment. I believe the most common thing I'd heard from these two, were that Hageman doesn't make plays... and disappears at times.

Here are my observations of Hageman from the bowl game:

• The Gopher defense rotates their defensive linemen way too often. Sure it keeps the linemen fresh and healthy, but this limits statistical output. My guess is that this is a contributing factor to Marcus' and Ned's comments, as the guy isn't on the field for half of the defensive snaps. Which is pretty lame for your supposed best defender.
• Hageman is a man amongst boys. At 6'6"/311 lbs, great arm length, athletic nimble feet, and a nasty demeanor... there is no wonder why NFL evaluators are drooling over this guy.
• To his advantage, he keeps linemen away from his body with those crazy long arms. This ability keeps him in almost every play, or at the very least a positively contributing defender eating up blockers.
• The Gophers line him up in a number of positions (NT, 3-Technique, DE/5-Technique), which adds to Hageman's resume as a scheme diverse down lineman.
• Purely guess-work, but what I saw was that Hageman was asked to do a ton of read-and-react assignments... as opposed to going after the quarterback. But when he did go after the QB, his speed/strength and good mix of pass rush moves were flat out unstoppable.
• The blemishes in Hageman's games were: [1] Tendencies to not anchor well, and play high when playing inside. [2] That same poor leverage would cause him to loose ground and allow him to be pushed back.

Overall, I see Ra'Shede Hageman as an near elite 5-Technique DE (in a 3-4 Defense) who could easily be drafted in the middle of the first round. With the abundance of teams utilizing the 3-4, this possibility is very high. Also, if Hageman participates at the NFL combine, yes he seems good enough to opt out, he will likely cause a frenzy as a combine freak. That said, if a 4-3 team drafts him to play inside... he won't be all that special. His splash plays will be few and far between, and will just be another guy... so lets hope that a 3-4 team drafts him.


Off subject: I just heard that Brett Smith (QB from Wyoming) surprisingly declared for the draft. Seeing this guy play in two games, with zero intention of following this guy or Wyoming football, but his ability jumps out. With this news, and Mettenberger's unfortunate ACL/MCL injury, Smith rises up.

Top QBs:

1. Derek Carr - Fresno State
2. Johnny Manziel - Texas A&M
3. Brett Smith - Wyoming
4. Teddy Bridgewater - Louisville
5. (Tie) Black Bortles - UCF ... and ... Zach Mettenberger - LSU

Anatomy of a Fantasy Football Loss

Let's see, it's been almost two months since I've posted anything on the blog. I hoped to do an occasional Vikings Update, but I've been so busy at work these last two months that I truly feel it's negatively impacted my fantasy performance, which I consider this blog to be a part of. Time for a new job (seriously).

Now that I'm over my exit from fantasy football this year, I thought it would be entertaining to highlight a few key moments from Week 13 that epitomized my entire season. I wanted to do this sooner, but I think it's still worth sharing.

Downfall #1: Starting an old, injured tight-end
Antonio Gates had been banged up over the last half of the season but was serviceable enough to start considering there wasn't anyone else I'd consider an upgrade heading into the weekend. There were reports of him possibly not playing on Sunday, but this has been the message every single week for the past three years so why would this week be any different? I checked my roster mid-morning and no updates.

11:55pm: I check my lineup one more time and see this message: According to ESPN's Adam Schefter, Gates "doesn't know how long he can go." Fuuuuuck you Rotoworld and Yahoo for putting this up now. My computer was off, so I had to scramble on Yahoo's FFB app on my phone to find a body. Not good. I'm standing up in my dining room to maximize my efficiency and eliminate child-enabled distractions.

11:57pm: I'm looking at Charles Clay or John Carlson. Both terrible, but at least they should be playing the whole game.

11:58pm: Girl Child climbs onto a chair and starts drawing on our dining table with a marker. Fuck it, it's washable, no major harm done. Add John Carlson? Done.

11:59pm: Girl Child is now standing on the chair, reaching up to the sky for no apparent reason. Jess yells at me from the kitchen to get her down, and I quickly turn to place her back on the ground and then insert John Carlson into my starting lineup in one swift motion.

12:00pm: Error message, player not added.

Final week 13 points: Antonio Gates - 2.10, John Carlson 6.10.


Downfall #2: Victor Cruz tackled at the 1 yard line
This can happen to a FFB team in any given week as well but is another good example of things not breaking your way all season long. For the record, I still like Victor Cruz as a player, but I didn't bank on Eli becoming worse than Ponder this year.

1st and 10 at WSH 20	(Shotgun) E.Manning pass short left to V.Cruz to WAS 1 for 19 yards (D.Hall, L.Fletcher) [C.Baker]. PENALTY on WAS-D.Hall, Unsportsmanlike Conduct, 0 yards, enforced at WAS 1.
1st and 1 at WSH 1	A.Brown right tackle for 1 yard, TOUCHDOWN. The Replay Assistant challenged the runner broke the plane ruling, and the play was Upheld.

Downfall #3: "Roughing the passer" against the Saints

During this game, Russell Wilson was basically doing to the Saints what Brees should have been doing to the Seahawks. Noo-Shoo had already Dirxed me at this point by walking out of the bar, but I wasn't going to let that get in the way of my victory. Regardless, I was feeling good about my chances at this point since I needed one more field goal from Haushka to put me over the top. As soon as this happened in the 3rd quarter, I knew it was all over. 

3rd and 2 at NO 20	(Shotgun) R.Wilson pass incomplete short left to D.Baldwin [A.Hicks]. PENALTY on NO-A.Hicks, Roughing the Passer, 10 yards, enforced at NO 20 - No Play.
1st and 10 at NO 10	M.Lynch right tackle to NO 8 for 2 yards (D.Hawthorne, W.Herring).
2nd and 8 at NO 8	R.Wilson pass short right to D.Coleman for 8 yards, TOUCHDOWN. Touched first by SS #87. The Replay Assistant challenged the pass completion ruling, and the play was Upheld.

If you watched the play, it was a BS penalty (happens almost every game, but still...). The Seahawks went on Cruz control (see how I did that?) the rest of the way and made no effort to score any more points. 

If any one of these things goes my way, I win in Week 13. Instead I lose by 1.78 and am out of the playoffs. Predictably, my team shit the bed in Week 14, so it didn't matter in hindsight. But still, there is that feeling of self-gratification when you make it into one of the highly coveted playoff spots in our league. 

What's the lesson here? I don't know. Maybe don't have kids and a full-time job if you want to win? It's got to be one or the other. If Andy wins next week, this theory will hold true for at least one year...

Pick ups of the year: Good things DO happen on September 11th!

Lets start out with some well deserved awards! You might not be able to tangibly kiss the crystal penis trophy that we all had thought up for this award, but let it be known that we all want to kiss your actual penis for how good your FF perseverance was!

Life is funny sometimes. Sometimes we totally blow off LPGA for having the most overtly rough cooch licking lesbians that couldn't get a life term prisoner hard, and then we end up giving the good looking one the trophy shaped like the largest penis known to the western world (notice how I left out Africa -- you know their trophies are HUGE and probably just made out of food anyway cause they're just gonna pawn them to feed their families).  It just gets me upset that there's so many total muff diving queens there that would have made so much of a better picture kissing a glass dick than this chick. Fuck Cheerios.

I know in the past we've had a few others that I forget, but one of the most frequent and beneficial actions we can do during the season is the PICKUP and we had a few solid choices these past 4 months while grinding it out...

Monday Update: A New Champion Will Be Crowned

Gentlemen,

For the first time since this blog began, there will be a Week 16 Championship that won't include me. I know this sounds like #FirstWorldFFProblems, but I'm still sad about it.

Monday Update: Prepare to be Disappointed

Gentlemen,

Very busy day today. And didn't get home til late yesterday. So, not a whole lot of goodies today...

The Games

Andy Crapswell (57.20) vs. Ned Titwarmer (65.92)

• Ned leads, but don't let that fool you. He is done. With 66 points... much to the chagrin of the teams left out of the playoffs.
• Andy's highest scoring player is currently Charles Clay. That should be a damning sentence, but it's actually not...
• Andy need a combined 9 points from McCown, Forte, Murray, and Bailey. I don't even think jinxing is possible. Andy is a 99% favorite on Yahoo.

Juan Coconuts (109.12) vs. NooShoo Gow (78.78)

• A surprisingly competitive match between two teams with negative-scoring Defenses. 
• Juan got quite the boost from Brady with 2 TD's in about a minute. And every player on his team thus far has scored a TD.
• Meanwhile Gow also produced a strong week despite starting Alex Smith and losing Gronk. Still, he has an uphill battle tonight.
• Juan has Alshon. Gow has Dez and Bob Gould. While I do think Juan is the favorite, I think Yahoo's 92% projection seems a little high.

Per Yahoo's projections, next week's semifinals will be:

• Juan Coconuts (4) vs. Kenni Hana (1)
• Andy Crapswell (3) vs. Rod Jerks (2)

Both Juan and Andy have not won the title before, and combined they have just one Championship appearance (Juan in 2012). They will be the sentimental favorites.

Tonight

I'll be there. Probably not staying for the whole game, but I'll be there hopefully long enough to watch Jeffrey and Dez score 18 points combined (Dad's league). 

Juan, Gow, Andy, Ed:  two of you will be finished after tonight. I expect to see you all there. It's been a pleasure.

See you tonight, dudes.

Snow: Great for real life, Terrible for Fantasy

It's been a while since we've had a game day thread, so I thought I would throw this out there.

I have a feeling there are going to be a lot of low scores this week.

WEDNESDAY Update: One Final Look Back

Gentlemen,

While this post is belated, I don't want to spend it looking forward... That is another post for another day.

Today: we lament.