Monday Update: Like It Always Was

Gentlemen,

I have to thank you. Through 5 days of the blog going communal, I've visited it multiple times every single day. I hope many of you have as well. I appreciate all the posts going up, and those taking the 2 seconds to comment when someone does author something. Even if it's a comment ripping apart the post, it feels better to know people are reading. It's been a great start to this new format, and I really look forward to everyone jumping in more and more.

/rant
As an aside, FOR SHAME to those of you that didn't update your team name. FOR SHAME! This was the BOTT Possessive Noun week - one of the best Team Name Topics of the year and you did nothing! You could have thrown out Reabe's Big Nose, Duoss's Beady Eyes, or Peterson's Degree.
Instead, Bill is still rocking his Seattle D team name. Seattle D??? That was a terrible name for it's original topic (Worst 2012 FF Decision) last season and it's just annoying now.
And Joique Store? HAHAHA. Like the Seinfeld episode crossed with the Lion. That's the clever Mankato wit we expect from Crabs.
Bloody Stool? We get it, Juan. You had diarrhea. Get over it.
Wet Trifecta Box - this is such a Kenni name... Bizarre, kinda pervy, and funny only to him.
And Touchdown There? Ok, I actually kinda liked this when I first saw it... WEEKS AGO.
I know I'm mowing Crapswell's lawn here, but CHANGE YOUR FUCKING TEAM NAMES.
/end rant

The Monday Update going forward is going to focus mostly on the box scores of the FF matchups, and implications tonight's game holds. As I mentioned last week, that was what initially spawned the original emails that would be sent out on Mondays. And those emails turned into a full-on blog. All we need now are pictures of us boating with fat chicks and we are the mondaynightwings.com crew

Just as a brief recap, Week 1 was a barnburner. Since the time I started tracking scores (for the Points Bonuses), that was the highest cumulative week we've had on record. Gow was the low point scorer with 84, by no means an embarrassing losing score. Nine teams exceeded 90 points, six were over 100, and 4 surpassed 120 - just a huge week for everyone and our collective league.

So with that as the backdrop, let's review Week 2:

Crapswell vs. Crabs (Final)

• We had a few very good/close matchups this weekend. This was not one of them. In fact, the decision to get rid of the Biggest Blowout for the season probably cost Andy $20 here. Not sure that anyone is going to eclipse a 62-point differential. 
• Let's call a spade a spade: outside of Andrew Luck (who was just ok), everyone on Crabs' team sucked. DeAngelo Williams was his second highest scorer, which really surprised me because I thought he was dead.
• RB is suddenly a big question mark for Crabbo as Rice has been inconsistent and now is nursing an injury. And David Wilson fumbled his way into a timeshare, albeit with Brandon Jacobs (who still sucks). 
  
• On the other hand, Crapswell's team is looking very solid. Lots of guys contributing, some good depth. This Committed Crapswell certainly looks formidable. 
• Andy will move to 2-0, probably juuuuuust behind our 1st place leader, who we'll get to. 

Titwarmer vs. Kenni (Final)

• This was nearly an epic comeback for Ned. Having a very Crabs-like week, he went into last night down about 34 points. BeastMode almost closed the entire gap, but fell just short. And Ned now has to lament about what will likely be Lynch's biggest game of the year happening in a loss.
• Ned's bench is a train wreck. Donald Brown? Is there another Donald Brown I don't know about? Is this like when there were 2 Adrian Petersons?
• Meanwhile, Kenni is going to sneak away with a win like a thief in the night. What a dick. Who starts Terrelle Pryor AND Ben Tate and wins?
• Worth noting: Kenni's bench would have destroyed Crabs' team. 

Jerks vs. Dallus (Final)

• Huzzah! I won! Not 0-2!
  
• Martellus Bennett crushed the Vikings (unless you're secretly hoping they lose them all for Teddy) but was a huge boon to my team. A nice upgrade over the shitstain known as Sudfeld.
• Julian Edelman, who sounds Jewish, caught a million balls last Thursday. Gained like 17 yards. $38 well spent...
• Russell Wilson looked like ass last night, but scored just barely enough to hold off the Seattle D (the real one, not stupid JoJo's team name).
• Thank God the Redskins are so bad. Had they been even reasonably competent on offense, Rodgers would have thrown for 700 yards and 10 TD's. Holy hell he was on fire.
• Dallus started Michael Floyd, but my app just said M. Floyd and I got sort of happy when I saw Malcom Floyd got carried off... I'm a terrible person.

Whitebread vs. NooShoo

• This is one isn't Final, but it's over. We need to figure out a term for these types of games... like 'Epilogue' or something. 
• Whitebread's team got some strong performances, most notably from his WR's. You expect Megatron to be a stud, but DeSeason Jackson? Is this for real? 
• Meanwhile, Marcus' starting RB's net him a total of 5.8 points. Yikes.
• Nothing personal, but I don't like Whitebread's team.
• I thought Gowser made a bold call starting Vick over Kap... maybe I'm the idiot. Vick scored 28 more points and is suddenly a Top-5 QB as long as he's upright. 
• Danny Amendola apparently tore whatever attaches his hip to his leg. That sounds bad... Tell me again how Edelman wasn't worth $38?
• Rumor on the trade market: current Gow is even worse than the old Kenni to negotiate with... True or False? Please discuss in the comments. 
  
• Gow needs just 3.07 points from Antonio Brown to earn the Points Bonus. That is the only drama remaining this week in this matchup.

Coconuts vs. Bill Fredricks

• Regarding early injuries to both his starting RB's, Coconuts sent me a text saying: FATE JUST FUCKED ME IN THE ASS!
• Tom Brady also sucked last Thursday, so that didn't help. 
• Jimmy Graham had a big game in the afternoon. My guess is that just pissed off Coconuts even more.
• Bill has a good team, what with Peyton and all. But how confidant and/or happy can he be with Arian Foster? 
• Now THAT'S the Jared Cook that I know...
• Bill should win this match, and move into 1st place.
• This...believe it or not...is the most intriguing matchup that we have going into tonight. Juan is down 43, but has both AJ Green and Bengals D to make up ground. Yahoo is giving him a 7% chance to win. That's enough for me to attend and hope build only to be crushed late.

Tonight

Crooked Pint. 5th and Washington. It's right next door to the MPLS EAGLE so you should all be very familiar.

Attendance is going to be sort of a new crew... Myself, Coconuts, Crapswell, Ned? Anyone else?

There better be wings and they better be good.

See you tonight, boys.