Monday, November 4, 2013

Monday Update: How to Lose a FF Matchup in 10 Minutes


Gentlemen,

This was one crazy day for Fantasy Football. I have the misfortune of playing against TY Hilton in both my leagues... And I went to bed midway through the third quarter last night, when Hilton still only had like 1.5 fantasy points...  I woke up this morning, checked my scores, and was thoroughly confused...



Three TD's in a little over a quarter from TY (don't call him Ty), and suddenly I'm facing an uphill battle in both my matchups. FML

Such is the life of many of you who had victory snatched away from you this week with some monster, unexpected performances from individual players. Let's review:

The Games

Dick Dallus (68) vs. NooShoo Gow (113)
  • Hey league, if you were thinking of going out picking up Jeremy Kerley... PSYCHE! Dallus already did. And played him.
  • Chris Johnson had scored 65 fantasy points before yesterday. Now he has 94.


Ned Titwarmer (72) vs. Ike Crabs (81)
  • The Battle of Nate Washington/Roy Helu vs. Steven Jackson/DeAngelo Williams.
  • Someone is actually going to get a win from this matchup...


Marcus Whitebread (100) vs. Juan Coconuts (112)
  • Juan had 3 guys score 20+ points: Brady (33), Graham (24) and Gio (22); plus Mike James (21) on the bench!
  • In regards to Brady, Juan had this to say...
  • Whitebread is bitter about his difficult schedule. While he has a point, my counter argument is...


Andy Crapswell (80) vs. Bill Fredricks (127)
  • So... Bill got 40+ points from Andre Johnson and Nick Foles... Yes, THIS Nick Foles:
♫ You don't have to live like a refugeeeeeeee 
  • Andy spent the majority of yesterday at my house. He had something like a 40 point lead before the 3pm games and was feeling good, so I got an up-close-and-personal view of "playing against Foles" meltdown...


Rod Jerks (80) vs. Kenni Hana (111)
  • I already regaled you earlier with my tale of going to bed too soon only to have TY Hilton steal my hope overnight. 
  • Andy can attest to this, but at one point yesterday Ridley and McCoy both scored like 10 seconds apart and this was my reaction in my living room...
ISU sucks this year, but I seriously love Paul Rhodes
  • So this is the only matchup that is still in doubt, and there are a lot of moving parts here. Kenni is up 31pts and has GB defense going tonight. I am countering with Jordy, Marshall, and Boykin. 

(Projected) Standings

From now until the end of the regular season, I'll post these. If a matchup is too close to call, I'll default to Yahoo's projection numbers.

The only matchup in any doubt tonight is Kenni vs. me, and I'm going to assume I'm losing this one (and Yahoo agrees - 59% for Kenni). Thus, here is what the standings will look like tomorrow:

Place Team Record
1st Rod Jerks 6-3
2nd Ned Titwarmer 6-3
3rd Kenni Hana 6-3
4th Andy Crapswell 5-4
5th Bill Fredricks 4-5
6th Juan Coconuts 4-5
7th NooShoo Gow 4-5
8th Ike Crabs 4-5
9th Marcus Whitebread 3-6
10th Dick Dallus 3-6

Tonight

Alright kiddos... this should be a fun one. The NFL delivered us a shit schedule this week. Only one game featured 2 teams with a record above .500 and it's this one, so show up and watch a significant football game featuring our inbred rivals to the East.

Most of y'all already know if you've won or lost, so you can attend simply to drink free beer and troll the Packer fans in attendance tonight.

Full disclosure: I, personally, will be rooting like crazy for Jordy and Boykin. Apologies in advance.

We had an amazing opportunity to really mess with the Green and Gold Douches last season and we left too early...

Let's not make that mistake again.

See you tonight, boys.

6 comments:

  1. Let's run down my thought process before the Nate Washington plug in:
    - Huh, Heyward-Bey is probably and plays the night game, maybe I should put in Drew Davis.
    - God, am I really going to start Drew Davis? I mean I thought he could be a sneaky stash guy, but I don't really want to play him. I should look at the waiver wire.
    - well, there's just crap out on the wire. Maybe Heyward-Bey will be fine.
    - Eh, maybe not. Let me look at the wire again.
    - Hey, Nate Washington is out there. He usually blows up for 2-3 games a year. Maybe I should try to catch lightning in a bottle for this week.
    - Picked up and started Nate Washington.

    For those keeping track at home, my options were Heyward-Bey = 1.1 points, Drew Davis = .2 points, and Nate Washington = 0 points.

    Long story short, all would have been bad choices, but I just happened to make the worst one. It was just one of those weeks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Houston = #1 pass D
      St. Louis = #9 pass D
      Carolina = #10 pass D

      None of those sound like particularly good match ups to me.

      Delete
    2. It wasn't about matchups, it was about playing time. I could have easily found a guy who was playing the 25th worse Pass D, but is the 4th option in the passing game.

      Delete
    3. Eddie Royal was available on Thursday with an attractive match up. He got me 11.6 points for 56 yards and TD.

      And then I found a $20 bill on the ground.

      Delete
  2. I did troll Green Bay friends on Facebook. It was a most glorious time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It also made me realize I have too many friends that are GB fans.

      Delete